Pregnancy - Labor Pains - Birth
Whenever I, a grown man of advancing years, watch footage of a woman giving birth I cringe, uncontrollably buckle my knees, then cover my ears as I pray for the baby to come soon and end the poor mothers suffering. I've heard women describe the experience as "painfully beautiful," knowing that they're the vessel through which the Almighty has chosen to populate his garden.
While a mother might feel spiritual sensations immediately following the act of giving birth, I can only imagine the many tortures she must've felt during the process. I mean, how does a man keep from passing out when the doctor explains that the pain and delay of birth were caused by the feisty infant's death grip on the mother's pelvic bone? Come On Man!
To many a man alive birth is true torture. To the sweating, laboring mother giving birth, it can be one of the most memorable moments in her life that produces a most beautiful gift; a gift she carried in her body for nine months from that early spring conception. She courageously suffered through the morning sickness, the back pain and the emotional swings while all the while persons were telling her how beautiful and glowing her face appeared. At times during the pregnancy she thought herself the ugly duckling, at other times Cinderella impatient to attend the ball. When she finally got to look at and hold her newborn she cried with joy, knowing that the pain and suffering was well worth the gift of delivering a child and being crowned with the accomplished title of motherhood.
Hence we have the 2010 San Francisco Giants baseball team, pregnant with promise in the spring of 2010. Sports doctors gave them little hope of surviving a full term pregnancy and delivering successfully in October. The team was simply too weak as early tests showed possible defective antibodies. A health plan was devised which fed the team some new nourishing supplements via free agent and fresh farm team additions. It was a unique assembly of used and new experimental parts that made up the team’s treatment plan. It took time for the treatment to take effect and still they continued bidding for a prized slugging discovery before the abortive deadline date of early summer. The deadline would come and go without any slugging additions; the team would have to carry their load with a slightly challenged lineup of slugging power.
Threatened by complications caused by rival teams, lacking in slugger proteins, the team, still pregnant with promise, rallied in its final trimester stage. This latter stage of the pregnancy saw the teams’ little promise survive threats of post season elimination as the team battled and barely pulled through the final home stretch series of challenges. The teams’ dominating immune system pitched around and through opponents to make up for its compromised slugger protein counts, avoiding pregnancy setbacks and possible miscarriage.
Thanks again to the teams’ immune system of clutch pitching; the one game playoff setback was in fact avoided the last day of the season.
The teams’ water broke on October 7th as specialists from Atlanta and then Philadelphia flew in with suggestions of terminating the pregnancy. The team and family of fans never gave up hope as local doctors Kuiper and Krukow prescribed Ashkon pills to those losing faith during heartbreaking playoff losses. The pills had a collective uplifting effect as emotionally charged chants of “don’t stop believing” were heard echoing throughout the homes of many a San Francisco Giants fan. It was a harrowing and torturous two and a half weeks pacing outside the delivery room.
Yesterday, October 23rd at 8:30pm Pacific Standard Time, following two series of small setbacks thanks in part to those quack visiting doctors, a Giants Pennant was born. It came screaming into this world in a delivery room silent with disbelief. Specialists who'd suggested prematurely aborting the birth right up to the final labored pitch were stunned into total disbelief as the Giants Pennant wiggled its healthy toes, fingers and pee wee bat.
After cutting loose its umbilical cord the team held the strong baby bull up to the maternity room window for the baseball world to see the miracle pennant that almost wasn't. The proud team was last seen popping open champagne and passing out cigars to believers and disbelievers alike, singing the praises of nourishing acquisitions, local doctors and Ashkon pills.
The San Francisco Giants delivered and now wear the crown of National League Champions.
And on Sunday everyone rested!
W Powell
October 24, 2010
